Why revealing our deepest passions is the greatest risk
I am turning 30 next week and I have to admit, I’m scared. This epic decade threshold is reminding me of my mortality. In my 20’s I tried on many lifestyles: I was an urban waitress, a visual anthropologist, a traveling vagabond and a yoga teacher.
Now that my 20s are over, there is no more time to mess around.
I realize that counter to my youthful fantasies of lifelong invincibility, I WILL indeed die. Hopefully not soon, but eventually.
There is a sense of urgency, of passion rising in my core that I cannot ignore.
Now is the time to step into my true voice, true mission. Now is the time to admit what I really care about.
Somehow, admitting that I DO care feels edgy. I have been taught to “play it cool” and not show how much I care because it’s easy to get hurt that way.
SO, as a practice of vulnerability, authenticity and courage, I’d like to share with you one of the things I MOST care about...
As part of my initiation into 30dom I am "coming out" as an artist!
You may not know that I studied art in college where I was classically trained in painting. I used to show my art regularly and felt outwardly recognized as an artist.
For the past 7 years, I have been making intuitive paintings and taking my art "underground", using the process as therapy and keeping the secrets of my heart precious and private.
When I have thought about being an “artist” or showing my art, here are the types of thoughts I’ve had: It’s too good to be true, it’s too much, too amazing, too awesome. It’s not realistic, it’s selfish, it’s over the top.
Painting has brought up all this crap about not feeling worthy to take up space, which on some level touches the deep pain of not feeling worthy to exist.
Being able to expand as an artist and not apologize about it is a HUGE step in growing my genuine self-confidence and self-love.
Now, in celebration of my 30th birthday, my artist is ready to be REBORN!
I am showing my art for one night to my whole community. This is like showing my insides, my diaries, my deepest dreams and desires. It is terrifying, yet what are the paintings for, if not to share?
I hope that my art and this declaration of passion will inspire you to share what YOU most deeply care about to those you love.
Have the courage to reveal your hearts deepest desire. You might be surprised what happens!
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anaïs Nin